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Seducing Vegans

Seducing Vegans | Jo Divine

The vegan movement is certainly not about sex, however, a lot of stories and even scientific studies abound as to whether vegan diets have benefits the transcend the ethical and general health concerns, into the sphere of everyone’s favourite vice: recreational sex.

These days, it seems like everyone’s a vegan. It’s ‘woke’ and on trend. It’s more than a diet- it’s an identity. 71% of vegans in the UK are aged 25-44 and 7% of British residents now identify as vegan – for comparison, that’s about 3 times as many as those who identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Any self-respecting libertine should at least familiarise themselves with some vegan knowledge to bolster their armory of amour.

What are the things we should know about vegan sex?

Performance

There’s a lot of conflicting stories about how to best feed your sex organs. Probably, as with most things, the answer exists in a wider and less simple context. Veganism isn’t always an easy diet to follow, even these days, and if your only vegan option at the corner shop turns out to be a packet of Oreos (vegan! Who knew?) then you clearly aren’t going to rake in the nutritional benefits of someone who is mindfully constructing their meals.

I noticed zero difference. Logically, any difference would come from changing a balance: the balance of nutrients (and obviously there are infinite kinds of both vegan and non-vegan diets) but you can get 99% of them from non-animal products, and certainly, you don’t need to change the balance if you don’t want to. [Marcus Quillan, Adult Industry Actor and vegan]

Historically, it was thought that red meat would boost testosterone and the chaste religious sects had low protein diets to curb their desires. One might assume that veganism would impair sexual function, but this is not necessarily the case. A great many things are different in modern life, from the hormones and antibiotics circulating in factory farmed animals (both natural and added) to the diversity and abundance of plant products.

Though zinc (found in red meat) is important for producing testosterone, studies have conversely found that the more meat you eat, the less semen you make. Besides, you can get zinc from other places.

Historically, vegetarianism has been linked more closely with chastity than with licentiousness. Around the same time, in Russia, Leo Tolstoy gave up meat because of his concerns about animal cruelty. In “The First Step,” his “essay on the morals of diet,” Tolstoy claims that meat-eating is “quite unnecessary, and only serves to develop animal feelings, to excite desire, to promote fornication and drunkenness.

Later, in the early 20th century, English schoolmasters recommended vegetarian diets to their students as a means of curbing their appetites for self-abuse – [Rastogi, 2009]

Almonds, chickpeas, bananas, basil, figs, celery, asparagus, pumpkin seeds and pine nuts are all fantastic sources of zinc and vitamin B – both of which are vital for increasing your libido.
High quantities of saturated fats can be found to inhibit blood flow to the penis and heighten blood pressure. In other words, it’s the perfect recipe for impotence. Maintaining good blood flow helps us become aroused because we are better able to transmit hormonal signals back and forth from the brain to the genitals, resulting in increased sensations where it matters. Even the size of the clitoris is affected. It is, after all, erectile tissue. [Happy Happy Vegan]

Ensuring adequate protein in the diet is important to prevent testosterone becoming biologically unavailable and dipping the libido, and the vegan has a more tricky time with this one. A main protein source for a lot of vegan diets is soy, and soy has high levels of phyto-oestrogens, which can also lower libido and interfere with the sex hormone balance.

Other nutrients to seek out particularly on a vegan diet (relating to keeping your mojo in full form) are arginine, B vitamins, omega 3’s, and Iodine.

Conversely, those not living a vegan life should be upping their Vitamin A, C and E, and lowering their saturated fat and calories if they want to keep up with the sexual performance of a vegan.

Smell and Taste

I had a lover before I became vegan for six months. The taste of her and how healthy she was felt amazing. She ate properly, not in a restrictive damaging way that people who don’t understand the dietary needs of the body do. After going down on her and tasting how clean she tasted I just wanted to stay there and keep her cumming like that. I couldn’t stay vegan because of the smell and craving for meat though [Mr. C, vegan appreciator]

One of the stories one hears a lot is that vegans smell and taste better. A study by Havlicek and Lenchova examined the effect of meat elimination on body odour in young men. They found that women found their odour more attractive, pleasant and less intense without the meat (though they also found that intensity correlated to perceived masculinity and the sample was too small to be significant in most respects).

It’s well known that foods can flavour body fluids, from breast milk to semen. Coffee makes them bitter, meat makes them salty and fruits and chlorophyll from green plants makes them sweeter.

How to seduce a Vegan

You see a beautiful vegan. You stare wistfully across the room, wondering how to charm them into joining you. What should you do?

James (24), who I’ll describe as a hot, sexy vegan says:

  1. Be vegan
  2. If you’re not vegan, take them out for vegan food anyway
  3. Vegan food
  4. Repeat step 3

I mean, to win over a vegan it really is that simple. Buy them vegan snacks, the more obscure the better. All vegans know hob nobs are vegan, but if you get them the Tescos ‘free-from’ vegan rocky road then it shows you went extra and they’ll appreciate that. Take them out to the new vegan cafe/restaurant/whatever.

Any documentaries you can talk about like ‘Cowspiracy’ or ‘What the Health’ or ‘Forks over Knives’ or ‘Earthlings’. Or ‘Blackfish’. Or ‘Okja’! Such a cute film. It’s a faux pas to try to defend the meat industry or make ‘lol bacon’ jokes. Or ‘I could never live without meat’ – yes, you could.
Some vegans might have the patience, a lot won’t. Definitely, supporting the cause. Anyone that’s gone vegan for ethical reasons, mainly animals, feels strongly about it.

Let’s make a love potion!

Smoothie

How better to seduce a vegan than with a vegan love potion, created specially by the wonderful vegan chef Tytania Rose

LOVE POTION VEGAN SMOOTHIE

  • ½ avocado
  • 1 frozen banana
  • 1 handful frozen pineapple (fresh is also fine)
  • 1 handful of frozen watermelon (fresh is also fine)
  • 1 tbsp maca powder
  • ¼ tsp nutmeg
  • ½ tsp-cinnamon
  • 1 tsp-vanilla paste
  • 2 tbsp fruit syrup or coconut nectar
  • 4 fl.oz cashew milk
  • 4 fl.oz pomegranate juice
  • 4 fl.oz beetroot juice
  • 2 scoops of Purition hemp chocolate protein powder (or any choc protein powder)
  • 2 tsp of Doisy and Dam dark chocolate, grated (or any dark chocolate)
  • 1 handful pomegranate seeds
  • Optional: soy whipping cream to finish

Add all ingredients, except the grated chocolate and pomegranate seeds, to a blender and serve immediately. Sprinkle the dark chocolate and pomegranate seeds to finish. Whipped cream for extra pleasure.

Nutritional Facts: Why these ingredients?

Avocados

High levels of vitamin E which makes the skin beautiful and alive, giving you that dewy sexy come-hither look.

Dark Chocolate

High levels of zinc that boost testosterone. It also spikes your dopamine levels which induces feelings of pleasure.

Bananas and Pineapple

Contain bromelain, which is an enzyme which triggers testosterone production. It is also a great source of potassium and vitamin B which elevate energy levels.

Watermelon

The lycopene king. This nutrient has a Viagra-like effect on the body as it improves circulation and relaxes the blood vessels.

Maca powder

A Brazilian superfood that comes from a berry, and has been known for centuries within tribal culture to increase the libido.

Cashew milk

Contains large amounts of zinc, which is a natural libido booster. It also increases testosterone in both women and men, therefore increasing your sexual desire…

Nutmeg

THE natural Viagra for women.

Pomegranate

Filled with antioxidants which support the blood flow…therefore it has a positive effect on erectile dysfunction.

Beets

Increases stamina and heart (love?) health…it is rich in nitrates which help to reduce blood pressure and heart attack survival. In case things get a little out of hand and stuff.

Courtesy of Fouravocados.recipes

Vegan sex products

The reason why many condoms are not vegan friendly is because they contain milk casein. Vegan condoms are now widely available online, however avoid perfumed vegan condoms which are not good for vagina or anal health.

Semen is fine, as veganism is all about exploitation, so as long as the man giving it is giving it willingly, there’s no exploitation. [Miss E, Vegan]

Having seduced your gorgeous vegan and brought them back to your boudoir (presumably well fed), it’s now time to make sure your supplies are up to spec. Any self-respecting libertine of any gender should always have a great stock of attire, toys and accessories available for use, to meet the needs of your next wonderful play partner. Beyond ensuring you have lingerie options that aren’t made of leather or silk, give some thought to your condoms, sex toys and lube.

It’s always a good idea to have a variety of styles and sizes available. Even if you are blessed with a penis of your own, you should never assume your new play-friend won’t pull something out their bag (or underwear) that’s of substantially different dimensions. Best to just have covers that fit everything, all ready for use.

Vegan Lubricant

Firstly, everyone should have lubricant. Whether you think you’ll need it or not. It opens up a whole world of possibilities. Secondly, do not use coconut oil or any oil-based product with condoms!

Any libertine should be well versed in the correct use of a condom, and knows to keep away baby oil as it dissolves them in moments, but vegetable oils will as well.

Many oil-based products not designed for internal use can be difficult to clear naturally and can contribute to infections. Keep the lovely coconut oil for a sensual back massage, then wash your hands and switch to the good stuff when things get interesting.

There is such a variety of interesting lubes available that there should be a vegan option for every activity you might dream up, including Yes Water-based lubricant.

Don’t forget your vegan-friendly faux leather BDSM toys too, in case your vegan likes it kinky.

So, how does one seduce a vegan? Much the same way we would seduce anyone. Approach them, validate the things they find important. Feed them, show them they are appreciated by the thought you put into including them. By being prepared for them.

Happy vegan hunting
xxx