The G-spot or ‘zone’ is an area of spongy erectile tissue (corpus spongiosum) which lies along the upper vaginal wall surrounding the urethra. Applying pressure to it through massage when a woman is aroused can lead to deep, full body sensations and orgasm. This is because different nerve pathways are being stimulated – the pudendal (external clitoral stimulation) and parasympathetic (pelvic internal massage).
The G-spot was named after Ernst Grafenberg, a German gynaecologist who described it in 1944 as: “a zone of erogenous feeling located along the suburethral surface of the anterior vaginal wall”. No one paid much attention to his theories until 1981 when a team of researchers published findings based on a study of one woman who had experienced a deeper orgasm when the upper wall of her vagina was stimulated. Whipple et al’s book expanding on his research came out in 1982.
Be exploratory and try G-spot massage at different times of the month if you don’t initially experience anything, as the hormone cycle can affect sensitivity levels. Give yourself a vulva/anal massage first and when you’re feeling aroused enough or after an orgasm, insert your index finger inside the vagina and curve it to a ‘come hither’ motion so that you are stroking the upper wall. Aim for 1-2 inches inside, along the upper wall and press firmly – the G-spot or area feels slightly ridged and responds to firmer pressure than the clitoris. Move your finger around and experiment with different types of touch. Try to visualize moving the tissue and notice how the muscle tone varies – softer in some areas, harder in others?
It can be difficult to stay comfortable and sustain enough pressure using your fingers so that’s where G-spot toys come in. These are specially curved and firm enough to fit snugly to the wall of the vagina and you can adjust the pressure and vibration as much as is needed.
Try the Enigma ergonomically designed and incredibly flexible, the sensitive handle orientation allows pressure to be easily applied against the G-spot with a gentle downwards motion, allowing you to discover the ideal sexual stimulation just for you.
The Fun Factory Abby G is very flexible and cleverly shaped to offer direct stimuation to your G-Spot.
Using glass or metal dildos is another great way to stimulate your G-Spot too. You can enjoy temperature sex play by warming or cooling these versatile products to create unique sexual sensations and intense G-Spot pleasure.
The Rocks-Off Dalia is a battery operated sex toy designed with a slight curve, perfectly shaped to stimulate you G-Spot whilst the OhMiBod Cuddle is a smaller rechargeable G-spot vibrator, perfectly shaped top tease your pleasure spot into submission with strong vibrations.
Position the toy over different spots inside the vagina and see whether you can sense the muscle tone firming or softening. When the erectile tissue swells it feels like the area is heating up and the vagina opens to give you a fuller, deeper orgasm.
Some women ejaculate from G-spot play and this can enhance the experience. Ejaculate comes from the paraurethral glands (Skene’s gland is the largest), which sit inside the spongy tissues surrounding the urethra. Studies have found that the fluid isn’t urine and similar in composition to male prostatic fluid – it’s just that women may not gush as much as men do when they have an orgasm…
The P-spot or ‘male G-spot’ is part of a man’s anatomy and sits just inside the anus, 1-2 inches in. It is about the size of a walnut and feels like a small, flattened plum. It is where the body stores semen so a P-spot orgasm will give him physical and emotional release as well as keeping the body healthy: detoxifying semen and cleansing the prostate regularly can help prevent prostate cancer later in life.
Explore on your own first of all. Lie on your front and lubricate the anus first as it doesn’t self-lubricate when you’re aroused. Massage around the perineum and gently encircle the anus until the sphincter muscle relaxes and you are able to – slowly – push your index finger inside. The anus will grip it so hold it there for a second until your body gets used to the sensation and then push it further in and press downwards to find the prostate gland, which lies around an inch inside the anus and feels a bit like a flattened plum. Experiment with different movements – jiggle, circle, tap and stroke to keep the body guessing – too much repetition makes the nerves endings less sensitive. Once the prostate is engorged you may want to deepen the pressure and/or use a P-spot toy to stimulate it further. Focus on working one part of it and then broaden your stroke to encircle all of it. When you feel an orgasm building keep doing what you are doing to let it happen.
A female friend described the sensation of giving her husband a prostate massage – “[My finger] got really hot and it felt like there were hundreds of tiny fishes nibbling on it [as he came].”
There’s no need to be squeamish about poo, as faeces are stored higher in the rectum but a warm bath and/or an enema can enhance the experience and will help him to relax. You can also use nitrile gloves.
Once you’ve explored the prostate with your fingers you may want to experiment with some well-designed prostate toys such as Nexus Sparta or Rocks-Off Naughty Boy, which is a slim toy so good for beginners. It comes with a removable bullet vibrator.
If you’re giving your partner a P-spot massage for the first time ask for feedback and take it slowly – it’s tempting to speed things up and go deeper and faster if your partner is enjoying himself but too much stimulation can detract from the experience. Savour the experience and the pleasure he is experiencing – set aside a few hours to play and have fun exploring each other’s bodies.
For more on P-spot play read Charlie Glickman’s excellent new guide: The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, published by Cleis Press.
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