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Am I addicted to my sex toy?

Am I addicted to my sex toy? | Jo Divine

Becoming addicted to your vibrator is a common, often unfounded myth. Sex toys can enhance a relationship and help you to explore new sexual sensations and ways to orgasm too.

People who band this myth around are of the belief that people who use sex toys are sad, lonely and unable to find sexual satisfaction with another person. Many of those who believe that you become addicted to your sex toy is because they consider that using a vibrator or other sex toy for sexual pleasure is unclean or unhealthy.

This is completely untrue as the rising sales of sex toys has proved. Sex toys are being used by many people, both for solo use and for couples play. The health benefits are enormous, including bringing sexual relief for those with vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, inability to orgasm and aiding people with disability to enjoy sex. Vibrators and lubricants are often recommended to patients by health care professionals to alleviate symptoms of vaginal tightness and dryness.

There is a difference between being comfortable using something frequently and being addicted. Some people may feel they are addicted to their sex toy if they started using it for solo use or with their partner to achieve an orgasm but subsequently find it difficult to achieve an orgasm without it. This is not addiction but the result of falling into a familiar routine when we have sex.

If we always have sex one way, our bodies come to expect that way and will not respond if not given the expected sexual cues. This happens when couples fall into the same boring sexual routine. We can change this pattern of behaviour and our sexual response by mixing up the way we do things.

If you are using your sex toy more often than having sex with your partner, show your partner what turns you on and how to stimulate you if things have become boring. Get them to use your sex toy on you or put on your own sex show. You can also treat them to one of their own. You can also buy a sex toy you can use together like a vibrating constriction ring

If you find you are struggling to orgasm during penetrative sex, try new positions or incorporate a sex toy into your foreplay. There may be a health reason for this such as hormonal changes, side effects of medication , low libido caused by stress

Mixing things up

If you rely on your vibrator every time you have sex, put it away for a week and experiment with different ways to reach orgasm. Explore old sexual fantasies or bring some new ideas into your relationship, try sensual massage to stimulate the nerve endings in your skin and genital area, use light bondage such as blindfolds and silky ties to deprive your partner of their sense of sight and touch. It will heighten their sense of smell, taste and hearing as well as enable them to totally concentrate on what you are or aren’t doing. Not knowing what is coming next can be exciting and feel naughty.

If you do enjoy using your vibrator during sex, carry on. Some people hold the belief that “real sex” has to be conducted without any outside influence such as no sex toys or lubrication, a view distant from reality. These products, designed for sexual pleasure, just heighten the level of sexual satisfaction we achieve and enhance our sexual experience as well as introducing new feelings and sensations.

Healthy, consensual sex is good for our general health, well being and mental state of mind. The benefits of great sex are numerous, including boosting your mood, promoting good sexual health, aiding sleep, easing pain and making us smile! You may find that you don’t use your sex toy as often as you did if you explore some of the above ways to enjoy sex.

Being fixated on an object is different to being addicted to it and by making changes in the way you have sex, you can incorporate sex toy use as and when you feel it will enhance your sexual pleasure. Those people who frown on such behaviour would probably love to have a vibrator but are too shy to contemplate using one! They don’t know what they are missing !