Switching off my brain chatter helped me enjoy better sex
Read about the author Samantha Evans
I’ve always liked sex but haven’t always enjoyed it. However, since I’ve switched off the brain chatter in my head, my sexual pleasure has increased immensely, and my sex life has improved so much.
Being intimate with our partner means losing control of our inhibitions, which some women find hard to do. Some women believe that they have to be the perfect wife, girlfriend, partner and mother all the time, spending hours trying to maintain this image, whilst making themselves miserable, and often those around them unhappy too.
Several years ago, I admit I wasn’t always focused on the job in hand when having sex with my lovely husband and he noticed too. It took a while for me to realise that if I devoted all these thoughts into my relationship and not waste it, I’d have more fun.
The Light Bulb moment was when I decided to take charge in the bedroom, much to my husband’s delight. As a result of this change in my behaviour, we have had amazing sex since.
Most magazine articles would say I had become sexually empowered, however I hate the word, “empowerment”, and no, I didn’t become sexually empowered. I just decided to take control of my sexual pleasure and make it more enjoyable.
My lovely husband definitely noticed and thoroughly enjoys my sexual ministrations. Having more sex and better sex has led to my increasing demands, surprising him and sometimes tiring him out at the same time!
Focusing on what is happening to my body and how his body makes me feel has led to me discovering my G-spot and enjoying many blended orgasms. Enjoying sexual pleasure like this has made us both feel more confident, leading to us exploring new ideas and confiding sexual fantasies to each other, all of which has raised our sexual enjoyment.
Many couples experience sexual ruts in their relationships but for women, in particular, the issues that they deal with on a daily basis can push even thinking about sex right to the depths of their minds.
Men also suffer from worries and anxieties, be it about work or money issues or just generally worrying about supporting their family if they are the main bread earner. Many women are the main bread winner so have similar pressures to cope with, often in addition to caring for children or elderly relatives.
We try so hard to be proper all day, constantly worrying about what others think about us, as if we are watching ourselves to ensure we do the right thing. This can spread into the bedroom and our sex life.
The constant chatter in our head not only stops us from enjoying sex but also achieving an orgasm.
One of the stumbling blocks to achieving an orgasm is that we are so worried about it. Instead of letting the wave of pleasure flow over us we need to switch the chatter off in our heads. If you are constantly thinking, “Am I there yet? Will it happen? When will it happen?” you won’t orgasm.
So, whoever you are, take a moment to flick that brain switch and stop the constant conversation filling your head. Give your partner your total attention and concentrate on the pleasurable sensations coursing through your body, making you feel so good, rather than listening to the psychobabble raging in your head.
Focus on their fingers touching your skin, the feel of their lips against your lips, their breath against your neck, taste their body with your tongue, maintain eye contact, there are so many ways to flick that switch and enjoy the moment.
Another good idea is to banish technology and televisions from you bedroom and go to bed at a reasonable time so you have time to enjoy sexual intimacy before you go to sleep. Enjoying an orgasm is a great way to enjoy a better nights sleep too!
Start taking control of your sex pleasure and intimacy, you never know, you might like it. It worked for me, it just might work for you.