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Is Premature Ejaculation Affecting Your Relationship?

Is Premature Ejaculation Affecting Your Relationship? | Jo Divine

Many research studies have looked at the physical and psychological effect premature ejaculation (PE) has upon the health of men, but it can cause significant psychological strain for women too. PE is the most common sexual disorder in men, affecting approximately 30-40% of all men during their lives according to Relate, the largest UK provider of relationship counselling and support.

Researchers at the University of Zurich have studied the effect of PE on women and their relationships (2014). A new survey conducted by Andrea Burri, a clinical psychologist, polled over 1,500 women from Mexico, Italy and South Korea and found that 40% indicated that ejaculation control is very important for satisfying sexual intercourse. They cited that it is not the short duration of sexual intercourse which is frustrating but that their partner concentrates too strongly on delaying ejaculation that he neglects their sexual needs, leading to sexual frustration.

The majority of the women polled said that satisfying sex did not just consist of the act of sexual intercourse but also includes kissing, touching, caressing and other forms of sexual stimulation, all of which are equally as important as full penetrative sex.

When a man has PE, sexual intercourse is increasingly determined by time and not satisfaction, leading to distress and frustration for the woman. This also leads to the woman avoiding sexual contact for fear of rejection and lack of consideration for her sexual needs. Sadly, more than 25% of the women had experienced a relationship break up in the past as a result of this sexual problem.

There are many causes of PE, both physical and psychological, which can be easily treated – either through self-treatment or under the care of a GP. By making simple changes to the way in which a couple has sexual intercourse, both a man and his partner can enjoy sexual pleasure and satisfaction. Opening up communication between each other can help. If your partner is reluctant to discuss the problem with you, ask them to seek medical advice as the cause of the PE may be a more serious condition.

Prior to sexual intercourse, spend more time on foreplay by watching and reading erotic fiction and films to increase sexual arousal, use sex toys and lubricants to bring a little more excitement in your sex play. There are many well-made products available for men, women and couples which can increase your sexual enjoyment and enable you to achieve orgasms you never imagined possible. Limiting your sexual activity to just sexual intercourse is boring when you can experience so much more pleasure through exploration of your bodies with each other.

Making foreplay your focus, rather than sexual intercourse, can lead to a more satisfying sex life. If a woman is able to orgasm during foreplay, either through manual stimulation or using a vibrator by herself or with her partner, the problem of the short duration of sexual intercourse will no longer be the main focus for the man and it may even help his problem by reducing his stress and anxiety.

It is important to seek medical advice for PE as it may be caused by a more serious underlying medical conditions, such as diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure or prostate conditions. Many men avoid discussing the subject with their partner, friends, family or GP as they feel embarrassed, but many causes of PE are easily treated to alleviate the problems and a consultation with your GP may help to reduce anxiety and stress. He can also refer you for the most appropriate treatment for PE if the problem cannot be resolved in the GP practice.

Pelvic Floor exercises

Men have a pelvic floor too, just like women but very few men are aware that doing pelvic floor exercises can increase penile hardness and rigidity, improving the quality of your erections. Pelvic floor therapy has been shown to be a safe and effective therapy for PE, improving control over ejaculatory delay and increasing the time it take to ejaculate. Pastore et al (2012)

It is recommended that you seek advice from a physiotherapist, trained in men’s health to instruct you how to do these exercises correctly.

Considering that one third of men experience PE to some degree during their life, it is not widely discussed as men are more reluctant to seek help for their medical problems than women and do not discuss such issues with their friends and family for fear of ridicule. Men should take the initiative and become more proactive about their health. Seeking help for PE may save their life one day if the underlying cause is more serious and may also lead to increased sexual satisfaction and a more fulfilling relationship for both himself and his partner.