“Communication is key” is a fairly common mantra that can be applied to various aspects of life, such as in a workplace environment, between friends and even at home. Likewise, communicating with your partner is an essential part of maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.
Sometimes it can be hard to vociferate your worries or grievances as you may be afraid of hurting your partner’s feelings or putting yourself in a vulnerable position when emotionally exposed. However, communication is an important way to maintain a strong bond in your relationship.
No matter how good a relationship may be, sometimes our partners will do something to irritate us. Even if it is a minor issue, calmly state why you are upset at the time rather than bottling things up. Keeping our feelings closed off will inevitably build and build until you lash out at a seemingly small inconvenience, when in hindsight each little thing doesn’t seem so bad.
Similarly, we can all get ratty every now and then, either from fatigue or just general grumpiness- no one is perfect! When you’re in a mood, sometimes this can overspill into your relationship. If you do happen to snap at your partner, don’t ignore it. Apologise and explain to them that you’re simply not feeling yourself.
You will probably feel better about whatever’s on your mind if you open up more. Your partner will be able to give a fresh perspective on the situation if something is getting you down, and might actually help you solve the problem.
You may not immediately make the connection between them, but keeping things bottled up and focusing on everyday stresses can negatively impact on your sex life too as you’re not in the moment. Working through the issues in your everyday life will lead to better sex as you will be more appreciative of how fun and pleasurable it is!
Treat yourself and each other
Hectic schedules and family life can sometimes feel like it’s suffocating you. If you ever feel like having a little “me” time, why not include your partner? They might be experiencing the exact same constrictions and feel like they need some TLC too. A simple change such as making alone time for you to enjoy together can help you to reconnect..
A small gesture such as buying yourself and your partner a small gift can lead to a bigger conversation in which you can air out your stresses. Airing out the negativities is a great way to start making some positive changes.
The Doxy Die Cast is a great treat that you can both benefit from using, either as a back massager or intimate stimulator. Relieving muscle pain or having a powerful orgasm will be sure to shed your stresses!
As well as verbally communicating, physical contact is as equally important. If you’re physically shutting your partner out as well as not talking about your issues, this will cause harm to your relationship.
Sometimes your body language can actually be an easier way of expressing your emotions. Holding your partner’s hand or having a snuggle on the sofa are silent indications of how you are feeling.
Communicating with your partner both physically and verbally can also cross over into your sexual relationship. Opening up about your fantasies and showing each other how you like to be touched can rekindle the spark that may have been dimmed by stress!
Get the right touch
Even if you’ve been with your partner for a long time, there may be things sexually that they aren’t doing to get you off but have been too afraid to mention in case you hurt their feelings. However, this won’t do anything except feed their ego!
For many people, direct talk during sex play is quite a turn as they listen to your instructions through groans of pleasure! However, this will only work if you let go of your inhibitions and don’t fake an orgasm. Faking orgasms will not make sex any better and in the long term could be more damaging to your partner’s feelings than being honest.
If things really aren’t working for you sexually with your partner, perhaps try exploring your body on your own through masturbation with your fingers or with a sex toy. 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax but over-stimulating the clitoris can make it far too sensitive to touch. However, there are ways to stimulate the clitoris without direct touch, such as through the fabric of your knickers. You could also use a slim vibrator like the Rocks Off Slinky Pinky to help you to relax and experience better sexual pleasure.
Once you’ve found out what it takes to get your fix, conduct a sexy show and tell for your partner and explore each other in ways that are 100% pleasurable instead of putting up with uncomfortable, unsatisfactory sex play.
Don’t be shy
If you have a certain sexual fantasy or have heard or read about a new position that you want to try, talk about it with your partner before having sex. Don’t feel pressured to try it out straight away, either- make sure the mood is right.
Chances are that your partner will have similar fantasies to you. There are endless ways to explore each other’s bodies and sexual intimacy, so get creative!
Introducing sex toys to your sex play is a great way to enhance your sexual pleasure, but don’t just whip out a vibrator during foreplay. There are several ways to introduce sex toys that won’t scare your partner off by taking their feelings into consideration.
The Je Joue Mio is a great first-time sex toy to use together due to its soft, skin safe silicone. It has a super stretchy ring and a beautifully designed clitoral stimulator meaning it provides all round pleasure perfection!
When using a sex toy, or when having sex in general, if something doesn’t feel good or you experience any discomfort, don’t put up with it! It could do more harm than good, and sex is meant to be pleasurable for the both of you. Coherently communicating your needs can lead to better sex and a happier relationship as a result.