Bum's The Word

Bum's The Word

I like a sexy butt, it’s true. We’re bombarded with research and evidence that says women aren’t visually stimulated like men are, that they need words and emotions and much deeper things. Bollocks I say! I like bums and I like photos of bums and staring at bums as they walk past me in the street. I don’t need the buttocks in question to tell me a joke or buy me roses, they just have to exist to get me excited.

Diary, I don’t mind confessing to seeking out images of guys with tasty arses, I have a folder on my hard drive dedicated to them. Black and white or full colour, I don’t mind, as long as the bottom is prominent. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to just enjoy the visual for a change. Yes, I love reading hot, sexy stories, I do like to be romanced on occasion too but sometimes you just have to get to the nitty-gritty of it all.

Mr Divine often laughs at me over my butt obsession. He says I’m as subtle as a slap in the face with a wet kipper when I see an arse I fancy. Apparently I follow it, either with my gaze or my whole body if I can get away with it. He takes great pleasure in reminding me of the time I followed a guy’s arse instead of him. In my defence, I was sleep deprived, my youngest had just come into the world and hadn’t established a sleep pattern. We were walking her round the block in her pram to get her to have a nap and this young guy was walking in front of us in very tight jeans. When he turned right I followed him and my husband kept on walking straight towards our home.

I corrected myself when I realised he wasn’t with me, but he hasn’t let me live that one down at all. He says he does special butt exercises to keep his taut and tasty in fear I’ll leave him for a hotter one. I slap him every time he says it and he just laughs. I love my husband for far more than just his pert arse, though that is up there in the list of reasons I married him, I can’t deny it.

So what is my point, Diary? Do I have one or is this just an excuse to stick lots of pictures of pretty bums within your pages? I started out with a serious point but rather distracted myself with all this talk of male posteriors… what was I going to write? Oh yes, we shouldn’t ever just judge a book by its cover, or a person by how he or she looks but sometimes you’ve just got to ogle an arse and revel in the pure lust-filled moment. It’s nothing to feel guilty about because we all need our moments of fantasy, our means of escapism. So now I shall go back to trawling Pinterest for sexy arse photos, I may be avoiding the housework but I feel the need to indulge in some butt watching…