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Writing about sex has improved my sex life

Writing about sex has improved my sex life | Jo Divine

I’ve always enjoyed sex, but since I started writing sexual health and pleasure articles for our online sex toy company, it has gotten so much better!

Writing about intimacy has made me realise what I do and don’t like when it comes to sex. I’ve learnt new ways to experience better sexual pleasure and new sexual sensations. Being a former nurse, I thought I knew about the human anatomy, but I’ve learnt so many things about my own body through researching topics for my articles and using a wide range of sex toys too.

I think that when writing about sex you should be honest, so I don’t write about subjects that I’m unsure about, haven’t experienced or at least researched myself. I don’t claim to be an expert, but try to write informative, fun articles linked to practical, realistic tips and advice about how to enjoy better sexual pleasure and intimacy.

I never assume a person’s level of sexual knowledge when I write about sex as I have been completely surprised by the lack of knowledge amongst adults since starting our business.

I am constantly thinking about ideas to help people find ways in which to enjoy sex again if they have sexual problems, or just getting them to think about how they can enjoy sexual pleasure and intimacy.

Sex seems to be a taboo subject, especially amongst several of my friends. As soon as it gets mentioned, people become anxious or flustered, possibly because they assume that their own sex lives are going to be discussed, but it’s none of my business what they get up to behind closed doors!

I rarely talk about what I do, except to a few friends who are sex-positive like me, and are interested in our business.

So writing about sexual intimacy and pleasure enables me to put my thoughts, general musings and ideas jostling inside my head onto paper (or a computer screen) and whets my sexual imagination at the same time!

I love helping people to enjoy better sex by giving practical advice and tips. I have amazing conversations with customers about their sex lives, and often they will phone to place an order feeling very anxious in the beginning, but in the end they’re giggling about our conversation.

It is such a relief to be able to talk to people in the industry or to people who enjoy sex without being made to feel strange, odd or sex obsessed. Sex is fascinating, fun and good for you and people who have sex are having fun.

Instead of getting annoyed at some of the sex articles in the media, many offering conflicting or poor advice, I think, “Well I can write something much better than that!”

My article, I’m having better sex in my late 40’s than I did in my 20’s was in response to all the negative articles in the media about menopausal women, always accompanied by the stereotypical image of a sad woman sitting on the bed. As an older woman, I don’t believe that sex is portrayed in a positive manner for people my age and above, despite research showing that the older generation are having more sex, and often better sex, than younger people.

I have some perimenopausal symptoms, but since we discovered YES lubricants the results have been amazing. Using this lubricant has made sex feel so much better and we don’t have sex without it. I only wished I’d discovered it many years ago!

I am passionate about educating everyone about intimate health because using lubricants and feminine hygiene products containing glycerin, glycols and parabens destroyed my vagina ehalth and our sex life in my 20’s and 30’s. This is why we only sell skin safe products including YES lubricants and moisturiser yet I have seen a huge deluge of products aimed at our intimate health that actually are detrimental to our vagina health, causing thrush, bacterial vaginosis, irritation and pain! This is why I will always highlight poor products being touted by celebrities, influencers, beauty brands and high street stores. Many claim to promote better sexual wellness yet these products damage your sex life and intimate health!

One particular pet hate of mine is articles in which women are being “empowered” to enjoy sex- I hate that word and never put it in my writing as it tends to be overused. I don’t feel empowered because I like sex, I just like sex and write about it on a daily basis. I don’t feel that I empower the women and men I offer advice to either: I offer them practical advice about how to enjoy better sexual pleasure. Women don’t need to be empowered to enjoy sex, they just need to be educated about how to enjoy better sexual pleasure and intimacy and from valid sources too.

I’m lucky I have an amazing husband, who is also my work partner, so when we have chats at work they tend to be about sex, sex toys and ways in which we can promote positive, good and safe sex.

We do use sex toys due to having a regular supply but not all the time. However, sex toys create different sexual sensations and we are more creative in our sex play. He has really noticed that I have become more sexual since writing about sex and incorporating some of what I have learnt into our relationship has increased our sexual pleasure as a couple. I’m also more open to suggestions about sex!

We also talk about our sexual fantasies, something which has only happened recently that has proved to be sexually thrilling.

Personally, my sex writing has enabled me to have much better, stronger orgasms during sex play and alone, and now that I’ve finally located my G-Spot, I have fabulous G-Spot orgasms and A-Spot orgasms too. I’ve also learnt how to female ejaculate!

Being the shy girl at school and during my nurse training, I think my old school friends and nursing colleagues wouldn’t recognise this person I have become.

I even took part in Channel 5 How To Have A Better Orgasm

It’s been a bit of a wake up call to me that I am a sexual being and I like having sex. I feel so much sexier since beginning to write about sex as often my thoughts can be quite naughty. I definitely have a much bigger smile on my face these days!