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My partner’s penis is too big

My partner’s penis is too big | Jo Divine

Many men boast about the size of their penis, but often don’t actually have one so large that it causes a problem during sex. Some women love big penises and couldn’t imagine being with a man who didn’t quite measure up. However, for others, having a well endowed partner can cause some physical problems.

Rather than ditching your man or enduring painful sex, here are some tips about how enjoy to great sexual intimacy and pleasure with a well-endowed partner.

Tell your partner how you feel

This is key to any relationship, but your partner may not even be aware that he has a larger than average penis that is uncomfortable for you. Painful sex is not pleasurable and most men will not want to hurt you; they want you to enjoy sex, as your enjoyment increases their sexual pleasure too.

Tell your partner how you feel and explore ways in which you can enjoy good sex. Your partner may have experienced this problem with a former partner and might have some tips about how they enjoyed sex.

Lubricant is your best friend, and lots of it!

Sexual lubricant is the one product we recommend to all our customers because using it during sex play makes it feels so much better!

There seems to be a general assumption, through social and mainstream media and porn, that younger women do not need to use vaginal lubrication because they’re always aroused and ready for sex. Many of their partners think that they are not aroused if they don’t become wet during sex and view a lack of self-lubrication as a problem.

This is often the case, but also levels of vaginal secretions differ between individuals and can be affected by stress, anxiety, hormonal changes due to contraception or pregnancy and medical interventions.

However, using sexual lubricant can make sex feel more comfortable and last longer. Spending time lubricating your partner’s penis not only enhances pleasure, but also prevents damage or abrasion to delicate genital tissue. It can also help make sexual intercourse last longer if it feels good.

Lubricant is your key to having pleasurable sex. When your partner has a big penis, you cannot have sex without lubricant. Use as much lubricant as you need! A good tip is applying oil based lubricant, then water based over the top.

If your partner has a problem with lubricant, don’t feel obligated to have sex with them without it. They’ll soon change their mind, especially if you begin to enjoy sex more!

Spend much more time on foreplay

Foreplay isn’t really optional in any relationship and especially when your partner has a big penis. Many women don’t get wet enough for full sexual intercourse without some stimulation first so never try penetration until you feel fully aroused.

Spend more time exploring what you really enjoy, such as mutual masturbation using plenty of lubricant, touching and kissing each other, having oral sex, using a sex toy to help stretch your vagina before penetration and help you to relax.


Having foreplay will relax you and make you feel less stressed about having sex. Feeling tense or nervous can cause your vagina to tighten, making penetration impossible. The more you tense, the tighter you’ll become. If penetrative sex isn’t happening for you, there are so many other pleasurable ways to enjoy sex. However, if it is an ongoing problem, seek medical advice.

Try bigger sex toys

Obviously sex toys don’t feel like the real thing, but can help you become accustomed to having a penis with a bigger girth and longer length inside you. Experiment with bigger sex toys and plenty of lubricant, such as the Fun Factory Big Boss G5 vibrator, Fun Factory Magnum, SportsheetsFlare or Godemiche Adam 6 inch Rainbow to help stretch your vagina. Use them during foreplay on your clitoris to enjoy clitoral stimulation before slowly inserting them inside you.

Being in control of your sex toy, take your time to slowly insert it into your vagina and play around with what feels good for you.You may find after using a sex toy, your partner feels more comfortable, helping you to feel more relaxed.

You may want to consider using Inspire Dilator Kit to help stretch your vagina and make penetration feel more comfortable.

Go Slowly

When your partner is bigger, going slowly with your sex play is essential to make it feel pleasurable. You won’t be able to have quick penetrative sex if you want it to feel comfortable. Going too fast may cause tears in the wall of the vagina which will hurt and can lead to infection.

Slow sex can feel great. Allowing you to really enjoy all the sexual sensations, it can also help you to “edge”, prolonging your orgasm and that of your man too.

Experiment with positions

There will be positions that feel uncomfortable for you so take control and find ones to feel good. Sexual positions that offer you total control are the ones you should go for, allowing you to dictate the depth and speed of penetration and position his large penis exactly where you want it.

On top
Being on top offers you the ideal amount of control as you can use your thighs to control the depth of penetration, in addition to enjoying amazing clitoral stimulation. Rather than thrusting, you can use small circular movements to enjoy different sexual sensations.

Modified on top
You can modify the on top position by lying on your partner rather than straddled, using your palms or forearms for support like Reverse Cowgirl, which doesn’t require as much thrusting so is less likely to feel uncomfortable. You also get great clitoral stimulation from moving against his stomach or shaft.

Reverse cowgirl
This position allows you to enjoy shallower penetration at a different angle and give your man an amazing view to keep him aroused. With your man lying on his back, straddle his waist facing towards his toes and slowly guide his penis inside you. Leaning forward, rest your body weight on your palms. Change position by lowering yourself onto your forearms. Again, rather than thrusting, slowly grind your hip for an altogether sexual feeling.

Standing doggy style
Rather than full blown doggy style which is definitely a no no, standing doggy style prevents deep penetration and allows access to your clitoris too. Stand facing the same direction and allow him penetrate you from behind. Use a wall or a piece of furniture for leverage. Lifting one of your legs will allow easier access.

This is a great one to try in the shower to get all hot and steamy, the heat from the water will make you feel relaxed too. Use an oil based lube so it doesn’t wash away or a silicone lube if you are using a condom as oil based lubricants will damage the condom.

Three legged dog
Facing your man, get him to hook his arm under one knee and hold your leg up and around to the side, allowing you to be penetrated from the front. Any standing position prevents deep thrusting and penetration, making sex feel more comfortable.

This spooning position is great when you feel tired or lazy and want to cuddle. Get your man to snuggle up behind you and you gently guide his penis into your vagina. Being in this position does not allow deep penetration and gentle grinding of your hips will give different sexual stimulation. It also allows easy access to your clitoris, ideal for gentle massage by yourself or your partner.

On the plus side, it is a great position for early morning sex as it is gentle, ideal for just waking up and avoiding bad breath in the face!

Side by side
Another lazy but intimate sex position, great for avoiding deep penetration as he doesn’t have much thrust capacity in this position. Lie down, facing each other and wrap your top leg around his waist and guide his penis in. You can control the depth of penetration by squeezing him closer with your leg.

Finally, don’t panic

Whatever you do, don’t stop having sex: just find what works for you. Invest in a large bottle of lubricant or use an oil based lubricant first with a water based one on top, creating a “double glide” effect. Reapply as much and as often as you need to. If using condoms, try silicone lubricants which can feel more slippery than water based lubricants. Never use oil based lubes as they will damage the condom.

Always stop if it hurts and try foreplay rather than penetration.

If you are still unable to enjoy pleasurable, comfortable sex, ask your doctor to refer you to a gynaecologist to find if you have a sexual health problem. They may refer you to a women’s health physiotherapist who can teach you exercises to help you relax during sex to make it feel pleasurable or a psychosexual therapist who can help you overcome any psychological issues which may be affecting your sex life.