Many women believe that they are control freaks because they have definite ideas about how their life should go. They have high expectations of themselves and want to seem like they have it all.
Does this sound familiar?
This feeling can spill over into the bedroom. The problem in the bedroom is, not that we are trying to control our partner but that we are trying to stay in control of ourselves. Being intimate with our partner means losing control over our inhibitions which some women find hard to do. Being in control means you are standing on guard, being aware of your surroundings and not being taken by surprise.
But sex doesn’t work that way. You have to stop concentrating and start feeling to begin to enjoy sex. Sex should just come naturally, to forgive the pun, and shouldn’t require a lot of work.
One of the stumbling blocks to achieving an orgasm is that we are so worried about it. Instead of letting the wave of pleasure flow over us we need to switch the chatter off in our heads. If you are constantly thinking, “Am I there yet? Will it happen? When will it happen?” you won’t orgasm.
Do what your body tells you to do
Some women feel that a proper woman is one who is strait laced, well kept and very gently spoken. Great sex is the complete opposite of this. You can’t be worried about what you look like, how you sound or even what you are doing if you are going to be able to enjoy yourself.
We try so hard to be proper all day, constantly worrying about what others think about us, as if we are watching ourselves to ensure we do the right thing.
There isn’t anything improper about sex within a loving relationship. It is a very natural act of demonstrating how much we love and care for our partner. By throwing caution to the wind we should become primitive, not proper when it comes to having sex. It is a basic instinct in all of us.
Sex isn’t tame, it cannot be put in a pot with the lid on, it is messy, noisy and fantastic!
Trust is essential
Good sex requires trust. When we are in control, we have no need to trust anyone else. We don’t need anyone else, we’re in charge and organised. But to have great sex, you need to trust the other person. The feeling of mental connection nurtures the feeling of physical bonds.
If both of you feel that you need to be in control of the situation, then you will not move together as one when it comes to sex. If you trust your partner, you will feel more comfortable at being improper.
Embrace your sexual side
Some women feel that wanting to have sex is shameful, they shouldn’t feel like this, just like some of our Victorian ancestors felt. Someone in control is ruled by their thoughts while someone who enjoys sex is ruled by their feelings.
A great sex life means you give into your feelings and let go. There is nothing wrong in enjoying sex with your partner. These feelings are natural, innate and make us feel good. A great relationship with your partner has a beneficial effect upon our children who will grow up with a healthy image of parents and normal relationships.
Try sex toys and bondage
Sex toys come in all shapes, sizes and materials for both men and women. Try adding a vibrator to your sex play, either solo or with your partner to discover new and arousing sexual sensations. Using sex toys can greatly heighten your sexual pleasure and allow you to relax and let go.
Be even naughtier and wear a remote control toy for couple’s play, such as We-vibe 4 plus when you go out. Let your partner take control of the remote, leaving you in a constant state of sexual arousal, wondering when they will press the play button!
Create your own Fifty Shades of Grey and invest in some fabulous bondage such as a flogger or blindfold to whip up some adventurous sex play in the bedroom and beyond! Allow yourself to be tied up or tie your partner up with handcuffs and restraints and take control of their sexual pleasure.
Become a sexual siren for the night and discover your inner dominatrix. She’s lurking somewhere inside you!
Getting naked means great sex. Being naked feels natural. Being comfortable in your body is important. Your partner will love your body, no matter what. Your body represents the wonderful life you have had and the beautiful family you have created together. Sometimes letting go unleashes the inner sex kitten you didn’t even know existed, hopefully to your partner’s delight! Just let go, you may enjoy it!