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There’s a lot to be said about being selfish in the bedroom. If you read certain magazines you’ll get all kinds of contradictory advice. Sometimes you’ll be advised to be selfish, aim for your own pleasure and only your pleasure and forget the man. Other times you’ll be encouraged to look out for him and only him – how to give the perfect blow job, to dance for him and make him come without touching him. It’s all a bit confusing really. I’m all about mutual satisfaction myself.
Now, I realise it’s only in erotic fiction that man and woman come in perfect synchronicity all the time. It’s just not happening in real life. One of you is very often going to finish first. It’s in this situation where you’ve got to do all you can find mutual satisfaction for your partner. I’ve been married for… well, a bloody long time, I can tell you, and the key to it is give and take. Not just offering to watch the kids when he’s done three nights of overtime and can’t see straight or him offering to cook dinner when I’m full of the cold from hell. No, it translates to bedroom fun too. It’s great to take, I love to be the centre of his attention and to feel him doing all he can to get me to climax but equally I enjoy doing that to him. Taking him to the very heights. It’s addictive.
It takes a while to learn someone’s hot spots, that’s part of the joy of those early days with each other, pressing buttons and finding out which ones work and which other ones you shouldn’t go near, not ever, no way. For Mr Divine that’s his ears. Hates them being played with, for me it’s my toes, they’re just too damn ticklish. When you’ve been together a while though, the temptation is just to go for the play you know will get the winning try, if you know what I mean. Sometimes you’ve got to change it up, do something differently. It’s difficult because time is often short and sleep calls loudly when you’re so very tired but a marriage needs time and dedication to work including putting in the time to connect sexually. I’ve learnt that from experience. We tick along so much better when we’ve spent some quality naked (or near naked, I’m not fussy) time together. Focusing on each other and our pleasure brings us back to seeing what is really important in life. Our love for each other, for our family and friends. Everything else is just the mechanics of making life work.
There shouldn’t be a pressure with sex to climax every time. It’s not the orgasm that makes everything all right. Sometimes you’re just not going to reach that peak but damn, the journey’s fun anyway so just go along for the ride and see what happens. Spending time with Mr Divine makes me happy, spending sexy-adult time with him makes me ecstatic. And it’s all about the sharing. I want him to be equally satisfied at the end of the day. Coming together, be it at the same second or with a gap between the explosive events, is the centre of my happy marriage. I sometimes just have to really think about that diary, to make sure I give our sex life the time it needs. It’s essential to Divine marital bliss!