When we want to attract a new partner, we switch on our flirting button to get noticed. When we date, we flirt, we wink at our partner, hold hands and give them a “come hither” look to encourage them. But when we become established in a long term relationship or marriage, we stop the flirting because we’ve got what we wanted, haven’t we?
We all enjoy flirting, so when we’re in a long-term relationship, why stop?
Flirting is one of the main tools we use to boost our libido, so if we stop flirting, our libido may decrease. Flirting can make you both laugh and keep you feeling young and sexy. It can bind you together through sharing a relationship that is unique to you as a couple. You have to be clever and creative in order to keep the flirtation wheel turning and bring the spark back into your relationship.
Keeping the fire burning
Here are some tips to help you along the road to rediscovering the art of flirting.
- Leave a note or lipstick stain kiss on the bathroom or bedroom mirror or send a flirty text or email with funny little thoughts or even rude one. Be careful what you put in your text or email as it may be seen by others. Subtle suggestions will be just enough to get your partner’s imagination racing.
- Have a secret code you can use in front of the children, friends or family. You might get a funny look from your children but they won’t have a clue what you are talking about. This can be your secret. Mine involves crème eggs!
- Touch them in a subtle way when they least expect it. It can be a soft touch or a flirtatious one. A brush on the nape of the neck, a gentle breath on their ear, gentle caress of their breast or bottom, all these “accidental” touches can speak a thousand words. Less is more and will keep them guessing.
- Ask your partner to choose your knickers for that day. He’ll be picturing you wearing them all day and keep him on a slow burn for later.
- Wear the “green light” underwear/dress, you all know the ones we mean!
- Leave little love notes in unexpected places such as his lunch box, in his wallet or in the glove compartment of the car when he can find them. They will bring a smile to his face. Use the same colour so he knows that they are from you.
- Flirt in a crowd. Catch your partner’s eye across the room or table and give them a mischievous wink, special look or cheeky smile.
- Flash a little flesh – but not in public! Do this while they are watching TV or working on the computer. It’ll get them in the mood and let them know you are available. Ditch your bra at home and give your partner a quick glimpse when they least expect it!
- Go commando when you go out and let your partner know this when you get to the restaurant or party. They won’t be able to keep their hands to themselves all evening!
- Compliment each other frequently and offer unexpected comments at the most unusual times and places, such as saying “I love you” when doing the shopping! These unexpected comments can be pleasantly provocative and make your partner smile.
- Use that sexy voice you used to use when you were first dating.
- Resurrect your pet names, no matter how silly they were. You don’t need to use them in public, just during your private moments together.
- Deliver an unexpected gesture. Try to be more adventurous than flowers or chocolates. One of my favourites was being given a jar of beetroot! I love beetroot. Scratch your initials into a tree in the garden or on a rock at the beach, spell out I love you in vegetables, the more unusual it is, the funnier it will be.
- Be a flirty stranger. A quick kiss of your partner in a lift with other people will raise a smile.
- The best way to measure if all your flirting efforts are working is by your partner’s reaction. If he or she giggles or blushes at your attempts, you know you are doing the right thing. Using humour to communicate with your partner is very sexy and makes us all smile.
Don’t be shy, have a go and start flirting today!