Anal sex and sex toys

Anal sex and sex toys

Despite it being somewhat of a sexual taboo, many couples are open to the idea of anal sex play. If you are curious about anal sex play, there are several ways to begin.

Preparation for penetration

If it is your first time experimenting with anal sex, then you may be a little tense and anxious. For safe anal penetration, it is important to relax. As the anus is not self lubricating we recommend using plenty of lubricant to help prevent any anal trauma. It is imporrtant to use a lubricant designed for anal sex, not a product from your store cupboard or bathroom.

Silicone based lubricant is great for anal sex, as it’s slippery and long lasting but not recommended for use with a silicone plug, vibrator or anal beads as it can degrade the silicone, leaving your sex toy feeling tacky to the touch.

YES But is condom and silicone sex toy compatible and has a thicker consistency than other water based lubricants, and is made without the harmful chemicals that are commonly found in other anal lubes such as glycerin, glycols and parabens.

Many people think that anal sex will be painful and use a numbing or desensitizing lubricant. We recommend that you avoid any lubricants containing these ingredients. Pain during sex is a sign that something is wrong and you need to stop immediately. Using a numbing or desensitizing lubricant will mask any pain, leading to further injury or danmage to the tissues of your anus. Also, when the numbing agent wears off, you may find your anus feels very sore.

Tensing or clenching your anal muscles will make penetration more uncomfortable. Before experimenting with anal play, have a hot bath or get your partner to give you a sensual massage, lighting some candles to set the mood. This will help you to relax, making you less tense, and the experience more pleasurable for you.

While some would argue that male-on-female anal sex is purely for male satisfaction, there are lots of women who really enjoy anal play. There is a trust element to anal sex, and many women find that they are able to bond with their partner whilst being incredibly satisfied. However, some women have stated that they prefer anal sex when they are highly aroused, so go slowly!

There are sex toys available to help you prepare for penetration too. Always start small and slowly work your way up to bigger sex toys.


Much like vaginal sex, you can be as inventive as you like! There are lots of great and diverse positions to experiment with when having anal sex. A spooning position is incredibly intimate, and makes it easier to stimulate the breasts, nipples and clitoris. If it’s your first time having anal sex, a position such as the Reverse Cowgirl, with the woman on top, means that she is able to have complete control over speed and depth of penetration.


Men find anal play pleasurable because of the prostate, which is often referred to as the P-Spot as it is the male equivalent to the female G-Spot. Many straight men enjoy anal penetration because of the added prostate stimulation, while others like to be dominated.

Pegging is the act in which a woman penetrates her male partner anally with a strap-on. Many women enjoy this too as they are in control, pleasuring their partner, as they would be if they were on top during vaginal penetration. As with other elements of anal play, lubricant is highly advised to be used. Remember, wetter is better!

Anal Plugs

Anal or butt plugs come in a wide variety of styles and sizes, and have been designed to increase sexual pleasure. Once the plug has been inserted into the anus, it can be left during sex or masturbation. Many find that removing an anal plug on point of orgasm can actually enhance it!

Anal plugs are available in silicone, metal and glass, and are designed with a flared base to ensure that they are not drawn into the body and for easy removal. Plugs are great for beginners as they allow you to get used to the sensation of anal penetration. They are quite versatile, too, as they can be left in for a longer period in preparation for penetration from a longer toy or anal sex.

The njoy Pure range of plugs are great for someone who wants to really experiment with anal play, as they are available in three different sizes. Metal may seem daunting as it’s slightly weightier than a silicone plug, but you can use silicone lubricant with metal plugs so you have the benefit of extra lubrication.

The Icicles range from Pipedream has some exquisite anal plugs that offer sumptuous sensations. The Icicles No.13 is designed specifically with P-Spot stimulation in mind, and has a tapered tip for easy insertion. For double the fun, the Icicles No.49 doubles up as a whip, meaning that you can experiment with a little light BDSM too!

The Rocks Off Butt Boy is a great beginner’s plug that has the added bonus of perineal massage as well as prosate stimulation, creating an indulgent hands-free experience. In this way, you can incorporate the Butt Boy into your sex play too to really heighten your sexual experience.

Anal Beads

Most anal beads, also known as “Thai Beads”, start off with a small bead for easy insertion, with each bead gradually increasing in size until the largest bead, which is attached to the handle. Using anal beads is not like using a dildo, which is often used with quick thrusting motions. Slowly insert the beads one at a time, and remove in a similar manner on the point of orgasm for a really intense experience.

Using anal beads too quickly could cause pain and damage to the rectum, and it’s important to feel comfortable at all times- sex and experimenting is supposed to feel good! Remember to use lots of lubricant and make sure the area is properly cleaned before use, too.

Bendy Beads from Fun Factory are great for beginners, as they are relatively slim and have a loop handle for easy maneuverability. The beads range in sizes, and have a slightly raised groove running down the middle for extra stimulation.

Rocks-Off Petitie Sensations Pearls also vibrate, offering a differnet anal sexual sensation. Used with or without the bullet vibrator, Pearls are a 2 in 1 anal sex toy.

Make sure your anal beads are thoroughly cleaned, especially if there are any grooves or ridges in the product’s design. If you’re unsure if soap and water is enough, use a pjur cleaning flannel as well to ensure for good anal bead hygiene.

Anal Vibrators

At first glance, some anal vibrators look very much like vibrators designed for vaginal use. However, like all products designed for anal penetration, anal vibrators have a flared ridge just above the handle to ensure for safe but sensual pleasure.

Some anal vibrators are similar in design to anal plugs, but are somewhat larger due to containing a motor. The Rocks Off Butt Quiver is a tantalising toy with a slightly tapered tip for pure P-Spot pleasure.

Rocks Off also have a range of Boys to really knock your socks off! Each model has both anal and perineal stimulators for hands-free fun.

If you feel brave, why not let your partner take control of your pleasure with Rocks-Off Varex or Rocks-Off Index

The We-Vibe Ditto is the perfect vibrating butt plug for anal adventures. Ditto is a remote control vibrating butt plug, with a supplied remote control and the ability to be controlled by the We-Vibe Connect App. The app allows you to control your Ditto from an iPhone or Android phone. You can share access to your Ditto across the internet to allow a partner to control your plug, even when they are on the other side of the world or just across the table at dinner!


The anus is highly sensitive due to being enriched with nerve endings, so if full on penetration doesn’t sound appealing to you, there are still ways in which you can experiment. Anilingus, commonly known as “rimming”, is the act of stimulating another person’s anus with your mouth. It is also known as anal-oral contact.

When engaging in anilingus, make sure the area is properly cleaned first, and use a dental dam as you would for oral sex for increased protection against bacteria. Alternatively, cut a condom down the side and flatten it out into a large rectangle.

Communication and trust

If you have or your partner has expressed interest in experimenting with anal sexy play, try to speak as openly as possible about your wants and desires. During your sex sessions, make sure that both of you are comfortable with the activities at hand, as sex should never be painful or make someone feel uneasy.

Relax and enjoy yourselves- putting pressure on each other to have a good time will only do the opposite. If something does or doesn’t feel good, tell your partner. Exploring each others bodies in a whole new way can change your sex life for the better!