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In today’s modern world, nearly all of us use technology of some kind – but is our constant use of it having a negative affect upon our sexual relationships?
Many of us are so focused on our phones and laptops we tend to neglect those who are near to us. Staying in touch with our loved ones is the reason we own laptops and phones but why, in this technical age, do we feel isolated and distanced from our partners and spouses? The answer may lie in our bedrooms!
What’s the first thing you do in the morning on waking up? Roll over and give your loved one a kiss or lean across to turn on your phone? We are all guilty of doing this. By the time you’ve checked your emails, texts, Facebook account, news and weather reports, it’s time to get up and ready for the day, leaving no time for great early morning quickie sex.
Looking at your phone can make you feel stressed or angry which isn’t the best way to start the day whereas having early morning sex will make you feel great and bursting with energy to carry you through your day as well as giving you something to smile about. You never know, there may be a repeat performance later that evening!
Technology is a distraction and can put a dampener on our sex lives. A study in Italy found that couples who had a TV set in their bedroom were having sex 50% less often than couples without a bedroom TV and this rose to 60% in the over 50’s.
Finding time to have sex can be difficult in our busy lives but if you are sending emails and he is watching TV, there is even less chance of it happening. One in four of us text before we go to sleep and over one third of people take their laptop to bed!
A recent US survey found that 12% of American mothers used their mobile phones during sex and they weren’t taking naughty photos!
Recent research by the University of British Columbia and the University of Virginia (2016) found that a whooping 1 in 10 people check their phone during sex! That doesn’t do much for sexual pleasure or the confidence of your partner.
You should implement a “no gadgets after 10pm” rule unless you are texting a raunchy photo of yourself in sexy lingerie to tempt your man or he has downloaded something naughty on his laptop for you both to watch. Turn off all your gadgets and spend time snuggling up in bed with your partner, talking and stroking each other. You will soon ignite each other’s sexual flame and feel less stressed by ignoring those emails and texts.
If you’re one of those people who feel the need to constantly post on social media about how amazing your relationship is, the chances are you are probably very unhappy and don’t actually like each other.
Nikki Goldstein, a sexologist says
“Often it’s the people who post the most who are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media”.
A report in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (2014) concluded that people who make their relationships more visible on social media are more likely to feel insecure about how their partner feels about them and seek validation about their relationship thus feeding on their low self esteem.
Previous research in 2015 at Brunel University found that people who post Facebook status updates about their romantic partner are more likely to have low self-esteem.
So the best way is to switch off your phone and sit down with your partner for an honest chat about your relationship, you may find you both end up feeling much happier together.
Technology can be useful in bed if used appropriately. A 2011 study found that couples who watched porn together had a higher level of sexual satisfaction. So download some porn on your laptop or erotic novels onto your eReader, play a sexy playlist of songs on your iPod or even Pillow App to give you some guidance or OMG YES to give you some visual instructions and invest in a good quality sex toy.
Unless you are using your gadgets for any of the above to spice up your sex life, switch off that phone, laptop and TV and get cosy with your partner tonight!