Try a New Year Sex Detox

Try a New Year Sex Detox

Read about the author Samantha Evans

It’s that time of year when many of us give our bodies an MOT by eating healthily, doing more exercise or resting our livers. It’s also a great time to give your sex life a makeover, improve your sexual relationship and have amazing sex this year.

Make this the year to do the following:

Tell your partner what you want

Let your partner know what you want sexually. Our needs change over time and what may have worked for you before might not be hitting the spot now. By letting them know exactly what you want will lead to a more satisfying sexual experience for both of you.

Lose control

So many women feel they need to keep their feelings under control and never really let go during sexual intercourse. Switch the chatter off in your head and concentrate on all the sensual feelings coursing through your body.

Make noises of encouragement to let your partner know they are hitting all the right spots!

Revealing your inner self to your partner and being who you really are, not who you think you should be, will encourage them to be more open with you. Who knows, you may even discover your inner dominatrix and take control in bed!

Spice up your sexual routine

Has your sex life become boring? This year try something new inside and outside the bedroom. Have a regular date night, going out or staying in and watch a naughty film in front of the fire. Go to bed earlier and have sex.

Have sex in the daytime if you can. Try quickie sex during your lunch hour; it might lead to more fun later that evening, or you’ll go back to work with a smile on your face! Try early morning sex that will definitely help you start your day in a great mood.

Experiment with different positions, rooms in your home, spend more time just having foreplay – sex doesn’t always have to be penetrative!

Buy some new underwear to tantalise your partner or go commando for an evening and let them know!

Many couples own a sex toy, which can add spice to your sex life. Using sex toys can enhance your pleasure, creating different sexual sensations. If you’re keen to try a sex toy but not sure your partner is, talk about it first, don’t just surprise them with a 6 inch dildo! Many women believe that their partner will feel threatened by a sex toy but research shows that many partners would like to try a sex toy in bed, just as much as their partner.

If you are new to sex toys, start small. If you want to try somethign different, consider a glass or metal sex toy, perfect for temperature play. Try a couples sex toy to share together. Feeling brave? Try a remote controlled sex toy and let your partner take control of your pleasure.

Be Sexually Adventuous

Always wanted to have sex in a lift, under the stars or try a sex toy?

Make a list of sexual activities you would like to try and compare your list to see if you have the same ideas in mind, you may be surprised what both of you have in common.

Your list might include trying a sex toy, bondage such as tie up games, blindfolds, role play, reading or watching erotica, food play or talking dirty.

Ever wanted to explore submission and domination? This requires complete trust in your partner whilst pushing the boundaries in a completely new sexual way.

Explore New Sexual Experiences

Fancy having sex in front of other people? Many people fantasise about having sex whilst being watched by other people and there are several sex clubs across the UK. Some people just like watching other couples having sex, while some like to be watched and others want to join in. The majority of sex clubs have restrictions on who can or can’t be members and implement strict guidelines on behaviour at the club, including being invited to participate, asking permission to touch another person and solo men by invitation with a couple.

Some clubs are female-led and men have to be in a couple to go along or are female -only. Enjoying sex play in this way is a safe way in which to indulge your fantasy but both of you need to feel comfortable with what is going on and not feel pressurised into doing something you don’t want to.

If you have a disability, visible or unseen, you do need to do your research before going to a club or attending an event as some do not comply with disability/accessibility regulations. The swing scene is largely (perhaps to move away from tawdry representation in the past) marketing itself as exclusive, and for those of a certain aesthetic, age, and style. The kink scene, however, prides itself on being a place for everyone, and indeed many people with disabilities can be seen on the kink scene.

Kink events and workshops are a great way to start your adventure and get to meet like minded people on the scene who can educate and inform you as well as make you feel more comfortable. It is so much more fun and less nerve racking going to an event if you see familiar faces!

Be as inventive as you want but respect your partner if there is something on your list that they really aren’t keen to try and vice versa.

Get back into the rhythm

Most problems in the bedroom stem from not having sexual intercourse and you can always come up with an excuse. By making time to have sex again, you’ll probably find yourself having and wanting more.

The biggest stumbling block to not having sex is not communicating with each other. If there is a problem, talk about it and try to find a way to resolve the issue. If you have different needs, find ways to compromise and satisfy both your desires.

Create a sexual haven

Make your bedroom a sexual haven by ensuring that the door has a lock on it when your children go walkabout or parents come to stay. Soundproof it with heavy curtains and carpeting to avoid any embarrassing sounds being heard or play music to cover your pleasure.

Invest in a full length mirror, preferably portable to spice up your sexual intercourse. Having sex on a chair in front of a mirror is fun – just make sure it is big enough to hold both of you!

Ensure that you have your favourite sex toy, lubricant and tissues nearby in the bedside drawer to have on hand just when you need them.

Clean crisp sheets on the bed make the whole sexual experience feel luxurious and will make you want to climb in between them. Have a few cushions scattered around to place under your hips or use your pillow. Whatever you do, make this the year you have amazing sex.